Pictures

I was just posting a bunch of pictures to my Facebook account. I was looking for ones with me mostly so people who haven't seen me for a while could catch up to what I have been up to. I loved seeing myself after having Jordan and Spencer-I got back down to my lower weights with both of them. After Jordan I actually lost 10 more than when I got married. I was so happy in those shots. I wasn't worried about having my picture taken. I just posted pictures of me walking the boys on the pony at the fair and they are AWFUL!! It is just one roll after another and it makes me so sad to look at them.

So, what do I do with this-I will use it as motivation. I know I need to exercise to lose the inches and if I do WW the way I did 7-8years ago, in a year I will be there again. I need to blow up some of these pics so I can keep reminding myself. I don't know which will work better-the fat ones or my honeymoon ones? I have had a honeymoon one on my fridge for a while, but it hasn't worked. Guess I could focus on what I don't want to look like again.

I just want to be that happy mommy I was with Jordan and Spencer. I want my old self back and this weight is preventing me from doing that. My children deserve better. I have do dig down deep and find her again because I like her much better than I like myself right now. I think my extra weight adds stress and worry to my life and I tend to take it out on the kids. I feel awful for that and only I can change it.

gotta go to bed...